I remember the first time I spoke with Sarah, she was sitting by her Mom's bedside, companioning her in her final days.  She reached out to me to discuss the possibility of creating a special memorial followed by a graveside burial that would truly celebrate and honor her mom's life.  Dorothy, was to pass the following week and in the days after her death, I met with Sarah and her husband Brad, and reached out to her other children and family to listen to their stories and to learn how Dorothy touched and changed each of their lives. 

Incorporating music, prayers, poetry, psalms and personal writings, Dorothy's memorial service and graveside burial honored the truth of her life and the relationships she had with her family and friends.  We acknowledged her great courage as she gracefully met the challenges of her life.  We spent time speaking about her dedication to her 9 children (yes I said 9!), and the strength of character she possessed as a single mom, who worked full time.  We honored the gifts she passed onto her children, family, friends and co-workers and her passion for crafts, gardening and travel to Hawaii.   As a Mom, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, Sister, Aunt and friend, Dorothy has left a legacy of love, generosity of heart, courage, strength of character and indomitable spirit that lives on in those that remain. 

Her funeral was indeed a tribute and celebration of her life and it was truly an honor to create and officiate at this heartfelt ceremony.

Last weekend, my husband and I attended a small gathering of a local Amnesty International Group.  While we were expecting to meet interesting people and to learn more about the local group,  I was not expecting my heart to be touched so deeply, nor to be inspired to act. 

During this meeting I listened to a woman speak about her experience as a political prisoner in Burma serving what was suppose to be quite a long sentence.  (As there is reason for her to maintain a low profile, her name and other identifying info will be omitted).  As a prisoner, her only outside contact was with her parents who were able to visit her for 15 minutes each month.    She had no access to news or any information regarding the world, her community, or the efforts by Amnesty and another organization to free her.   

Over several visits with her parents she learned about the efforts of individuals, from different countries and backgrounds who banned together to try and win her release.  After her birthday one year, her parents told her that hundreds of people came together to celebrate her birthday, life and honor her work.    This was quite astonishing to her, that people actually traveled from around the world to attend a birthday party for her!  After many years, all the efforts payed off, and she was released.

When asked what kept her going all those years, she said that it was knowing that ordinary people; people she had never met; cared about her and took the time to write letters, make calls and celebrate her life.  That in the solitary confinement of the prison, she felt in her heart that her life mattered and it provided her with strength to keep herself alive.

Ordinary people, taking moments or an hour of their time to respond to a crisis, or to provide humanitarian support may feel like a "drop in the bucket" in the moment, but the cumulative response and what gets set in motion, has a rippling effect we may never comprehend.  For this particular prisoner, it provided her with hope and meaning, that regardless of the outcome, her life was important and her spirit could not be imprisoned.

It is not in my nature to "join" a group, or even a cause.  I usually keep to the edges of any efforts, providing support in a nondescript manner.  This weekend caused me to question my comfort zone.  As a result, I decided to  step-up and join this local group, because I now believe that any small effort, combined with many people, can have an extraordinary impact.

A secondary note:  this happens to be the 8th story, which in and of itself represents the infinity symbol pictures here (an eight turned on it's side).  Our lives may be finite, but the impact of every action, thought and deed is infinite.

Laura and Peter were married at the Nashoba Valley Winery in Bolton, Massachusetts.  While they live in Washington State, it did not prevent us from getting to know each other and co-creating a wedding ceremony that incorporated their passion for nature, working with their hands, having fun, and a heartfelt acknowledgment of their family & friends.

Princess patiently waits as the processional begins

While we laughed and tossed around several ideas to incorporate into the ceremony, it was important to Laura and Peter that Princess have an active role.  And active it was, for Princess was their ring bearer! 




Princess brings the rings to Laura and Peter as we prepare for their vows.  She remained with Peter and Laura right up to the Kiss and the recessional!






From the moment we began to work together, Laura, Peter & I had a connection that has deepened into a true friendship.  I am honored to be part of their lives and to have been the person that married them.

I am a cat lover.  I have three who have been my companions for over 10 years, and to say I am attached to them is an understatement.  Rufina, my youngest of the three, was diagnosed 4 years ago with cancer.  We were able to remove her spleen and the prognosis was great.  About 8 months ago, she became sick again and while we have been able to relieve many of her symptoms, her time with us is limited.  I have been struggling with this because quite frankly, she doesn't look or act sick, and unlike any of the other cats I have had, who gave me no reason to doubt that the right thing to do was to allow them a peaceful passage, Rufina is tearing at my heart.  Last week, I called for an emergency appointment and as my veterinarian was not at the clinic, I saw Dr. Jan. 

Dr. Jan spent a great deal of time with us, but what I am most grateful for, is her presence and compassionate honesty.  She was never distracted, looked me in the eye and shared in my grief.  In the 1/2 hour I spent with her, her presence allowed me to move from distress and anxiety to acceptance of the inevitable and the confidence that I would be able to know when the time was right to let Rufina go.  It is never easy being the bearer of difficult news.  Yet in this moment, Dr. Jan's gift to me was her extraordinary ability to meet me in my pain without trying to fix me or make me feel better. 

Our lives are filled with difficult moments, and the ability to meet someone exactly where they are, without judgment or attempting to "make it better", allows us to heal and move through our lives with a bit more ease and hope, even in the difficult times.  Thank-you Dr. Jan for the blessings of your presence and compassion.  Today, Rufina is having a good day!

Jennifer and Ryan wanted to celebrate, bless, dedicate and honor their son Hunter who was turning 1 year old.  While they both have strong spiritual beliefs, they do not belong to any specific church and so began the search for a minister who could honor their individual perspectives and help to create a ceremony that would be joyous, warm and honor Hunter's unique role in the world and his relationship to Spirit.  From the moment that Jennifer spoke with me it was clear that there was a connection between us and so we began to co-create their very special celebration and blessing ceremony.

Hunter's grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all gathered to share a special day with them and also to accept their own role in Hunter's life.  The Baby Blessing Ceremony opened with a lovely Unity Candle Ritual (above) in which Jennifer & Ryan honored their own connection with spirit, their commitment to love, nurture and support Hunter and the divine light that is in us all.

The ceremony continued with the community, grandparents and godparents (left) joyously accepting their special roles in Hunter's life. 

A final ritual was incorporated in which water was used to dedicate Hunter's head, heart, hands and body to serve in his own unique way as God intends. 

Jennifer, Ryan and the community that gathered all agreed that this was indeed a special day filled with warmth, joy, and spirit.  Thank you Jennifer & Ryan for allowing me to be such an important part in welcoming your son.  I look forward to more wonderful celebrations with you!

My husband is an ordinary man who works each day, struggles with his own life issues, tries to be a good parent and husband and is dedicated to his Zen practice.  On a day to day basis, he may not do anything extraordinary but this should not be confused with how much he may be valued or how he has impacted someone's life-in this case mine. 

When I first met Jamie, as with all couples, we spoke about our dreams, hopes and wishes.  We encouraged each other to take steps along life's path that would allow each of us to live a more vibrant, loving and compassionate life.  And while for some couples, these conversations fade over time or get lost in the day to day living of life, Jamie has never underestimated my desire to learn, grow, be challenged, and to find work that allowed me to live from my passion. 

Over the past thirteen years, he has provided me with an extraordinary gift;  he has given me the space, emotional and financial support and encouragement to pursue my dreams and live my passion.  While the path has at times taken me away from him, or caused us to experience tension in our marriage; he has been steadfast in his belief of me, us and our life together.   All of which has allowed me to stand in the world unafraid to be the person that I truly am.  From this solid state of being, I am able to help others honor and celebrate their lives.   

For many of us, we live our lives within a daily structure we are familiar with and do not speak about the profound impact someone may have on our lives. The simple fact for me is that Jamie's generosity of spirit, heart and his faith in me has been anything but ordinary-and if truth be told, I can give him a run for his money! Thank you Jamie.  So take just one small moment tonight or tomorrow, and let someone know that their simple day to day support and love is not taken for granted.

Andrew and Emily (my niece) were married in an interfaith ceremony which combined Jewish and Taoist culture.  Held at Hakone Gardens in Saratoga, California, this lovely Japanese garden was the perfect spot.  They were married under a colorful and playful Chuppah (a tradition in Judaism) and began their ceremony by circling seven times. 
In the Jewish tradition, this circling has many interpretations, but for Andrew and Emily, the significance was tied to the mystical belief that each circle represented the removal of one of seven shells of solitude that encrust the soul.  Upon completion on the circling, the soul is open and ready to be surrounded by the light of their beloved and the creation of a seven fold bond. 

Throughout their ceremony their individual beliefs and shared vision was celebrated and honored with a lightness and joy that allowed for both laughter and tears. 

Their ceremony ended with both a lovely water ritual, honoring the Taoist philosophy of the changing nature of our lives and the unending energy of  life and the Jewish tradition of the breaking of the glass.  

Congratulations Emily and Andrew and may you have many years of happiness and health.  I love you both!

Generosity of heart manifests itself in many ways.  We can offer our help and support when it is called for; offer our time and money to support causes that matter to us; and quietly work in the background to provide support for those we do not even know.  While most of us readily offer our help to friends and family when it is needed (sometimes without being asked), or donate time or money to organizations that help others; we don't often think about helping strangers we do not know. 

Kyle (a pseudonym) did just this when learning about a family who was struggling to put together enough funds to move out of a relatives home and into an apartment. Their living situation was causing emotional conflict and began to seriously impact the emotional well being of the couples marriage and their daughter.  Hearing about this, Kyle approached a mutual friend who arranged through the church to provide an anonymous gift to this family.  Kyle received no recognition nor feedback on this generosity.  When asked, why would you do this and keep it anonymous? Kyle's response was "I had it, they didn't.  I knew if I put myself in their position, their pride might prevent them from accepting my gift, or they would feel beholding to me."   As it turns out, throughout Kyle's life, there have been several other times that this anonymous generosity has been offered.  Kyle lives an ordinary life, working each day and sending time with friends and family.  While not rich, Kyle continues to offer help while maintaining a low profile.  If this help is in the form of monetary support, where possible, Kyle remains anonymous. 

These small ordinary acts of generosity can have extraordinary impact on people's lives.  For the family who was the beneficiary of Kyle's funds, they were able to show financial stability by putting down a security deposit and first and last months rent on an apartment and quickly moved into their own home.  In the process, they were able to heal the past years difficulty and to move on with their lives.  They in turn when able, now reach out to help others.     Please share your stories of someone who impacted your life or how you impacted someone else's life.

Marta and Greg were married this summer at the Barn at Gibbett Hill.  When we first met, I knew I wanted to work with them.  They clearly loved each other and were focused on making their ceremony special and memorable.  As we began working together, I appreciated the care they took with each detail of the ceremony.  The questions they asked and their active role in co-creating the ceremony with me; and special and memorable it was!  Through careful selections of readings, music, the inclusion of a special stuffed animal used by the ring bearer to bring the rings down the aisle, personalized vows written by Greg and Marta, and a reflection written specifically for them; we all smiled, laughed, cried and honored their relationship, their family and friends and their life together. I feel honored to have been a part of their most important day.

Most of us live ordinary lives. We have jobs, maybe children, pets, friends, family and  hobbies that we love.  While we move through our lives experiencing a range of emotions and feelings; each day can feel and seem like a repeat of the day before or the day that will follow.  We can forget that each day is a gift and is filled with newness and excitement.  We have a choice of how we relate to each moment of our lives, opening to the potential that each moment, hour, and day is new, fresh and infused with energy and an aliveness and excitement that turns our days into a lovely adventure.

I am fortunate that I am reminded of this every day when I see my friend Bettina.  She is an accomplished woman with an MBA from a prestigious school and had a career as a successful management consultant.  She made a choice after her second child was born to remain at home for the next few years so she could be a full-time mom.  Each day that I spend time with her and her children (she is almost never without them for long!) I am aware of how she is fully available and present for them.  It's not that she engages with them in a calm and loving way; it is that as she is delighted by each moment she spends with them.  She is excited to see who they will be when they wake-up, what new things they will learn, and how they will interact with people and their environment.  She approaches each moment as if it were fresh and new, and when I walk into her home, there is an aliveness that is contagious.  There is nothing ordinary about her days, nor the impact she will have on her children as they learn this approach to each day.

Each of us has the possibility to approach every moment and the people we encounter with this same delight.  In doing so, the ordinary minutes, hours and days become infused with life, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary.  I would love to hear your stories, so please comment or write to me. 

As of next week this series will be posted on Thursdays as I introduce a new series of blogs.  Each Monday I will focus on a ceremony that I have had the fortune of co-creating with the participants and naturally officiating at the ceremony.  Please join me as we honor and celebrate our lives!