As a wedding officiant and celebrant I often have couples who wish to have a private and meaningful wedding ceremony ask me to work with them to create their their special day.  Sometimes they bring 2 or 3 people, but often it is just the couple. Tuesday, I had the privilege of marrying Victoria & Va'Shawn, who traveled from Texas to become legally married in our Commonwealth.  With all the rain we have had, I was concerned we would need to move the ceremony inside, but timing was perfect, we had moments of sun and clear sky for their ceremony.  The ceremony was held in my garden alcove, and was custom designed and written for them as they combined their lives as friends, partners, co-parents and spouses for life. 
Congratulations Victoria & Va'Shawn!
(photo courtesy of Shooting Star Photography)

As a wedding officiant and celebrant, I travel across
Massachusetts and New England to various wedding sites.  I have my favorites to be sure, but now at the top of my list is the lovely Tower Hill Botanical Garden in Boylston, Massachusetts, where I had the privilege of co-creating and officiating at the wedding of Cyrus and Sara on June 13.  Their wedding was held in this lovely "Secret Garden", with a cocktail hour held on the terrace off the "Great Hall" followed by dinner in the "Orangie".  The setting, customer service and the overall "feel" of this day was incredible!  If you are considering a venue for any celebration, don't miss visiting Tower Hill Botanical Gardens, open year round.  Pictures of the actual ceremony will be coming soon so check back. 

A friend of mine who is also a wedding officiant and celebrant, sent me a fun article the other day from the New York Times.  As we share a love and passion for creating and officiating at wedding celebrations, she thought I might like to know that the ceremony was in fact the guests favorite part.   I loved receiving this, because truth be told, it is mine as well.  The wedding ceremony if created with intention, care and love is something your wedding guest will remember and speak about for a long time.  The least favorite?  The receiving line! 

There are many things we do automatically.  In my life, I have noticed that breathing is one of them.  Of course you might say, we all breath, we have to if we are to live.  Yet on days when I am busy, packing a lot into my waking hours, this is precisely the opportunity to pause and remember that breathing is in fact a gift.  You see, when I'm running around in my automatic mode, my breathing is shallow and only provides the minimum my mind, body and spirit need to efficiently get done what my mind (well actually my ego) "thinks" it needs to (an entirely different topic!).  When I remember to "come up for air" and pause, as I finally did today, I notice that every fiber of my being wants expansion, and I begin to breath deeply.  It is when I begin this process, connecting to my body's wisdom that I become quiet, centered and feel the ground beneath me.  My thinking slows, I begin to feel energy flowing, and I connect to the act of breathing itself,  moving into a meditative state.  In this way I begin to consciously connect to spirit.  I awaken a bit more to the essence of who, my creativity, my sacredness as a human being, and I notice more joy in the moment.  What an incredible gift!  How are you breathing today?

As a Wedding Officiant and Celebrant who customizes ceremonies, I am always learning from my couples about the small ways that meaning can be brought to the ceremony.  I have the honor of officiating at the upcoming wedding of Michelle and Jeff.  When we first sat down and spoke, they told me they were making their wedding rings.  Normally when people say this to me I find that they are designing them, and have an artisan who crafts them.  Michelle and Jeff however are not only designing them, but physically making their own!  A wedding ring is a token and reminder on the hands that you work, play and caress with, of the vows you speak and commitment to companion each other in this life.  The act of crafting each others rings brings special meaning to the rings,the exchange of rings, and honoring your marriage as you continue to grow in your life together.  If you are interested check out The Wedding Ring Workshop.  They are located in several countries and have local venues.  I so look forward to creating a special ceremony with particular attention paid to Michelle & Jeff's creation of their rings.  Enjoy!

I have been wrestling recently with my personal history's hold over my life, and how each day I find myself living from it versus in the moment.  I am truly blessed to have a life that is filled with richness and possibility and yet, some days I find myself experiencing a mild depression or sadness.  An inquiry into my sadness yesterday, led me once again to the simple truth that I live from my history more than I would care to admit.  If my life were a movie in the making, then I would quite comfortably be the writer of the script, the casting director, the director, the actors...need I say more?  When one of the actors says or does something I don't like, or it doesn't fit into the way the script is written, I have basically two possibilities; react to it in a number of ways (becoming angry, sad, withdrawn) or rewrite the script!  What prevents me from rewriting the script?   Usually it is my automatic response, based upon my history and my minds interpretation of what it all means, that keeps me stuck.  If I am courageous enough to be "present to/go into/stay with" (in this case the sadness),  breathe into it...physically experience it...than 9 times out of 10, a new experience emerges.  Yesterday, I moved from sadness to a peacefulness and sense of strength. Ah relief!

That I might actually be able to rewrite the script by simply living and inquiring into the moment is the most profound possibility of all.  It means that each day I consciously choose this possibility, moving through any resistance that might appear, and it does appear!  While it may sound simple, personally I am aware of just how difficult this can be.  As always, please share your thoughts and experiences.

As a wedding officiant who specializes in custom ceremonies I often ask the people I am working with about the logistics leading up to the wedding day.  Many couples are planning their weddings themselves and while they may have an on-site  coordinator, are often not unaware of how overwhelming last minute preparations can be.  Coordination of musicians and the officiant, coordination of amplification for the ceremony, flower location for the ceremony and then the reception, timing of the photographer and bus shuttles, gift basket delivery, marriage license and the list goes on.  While many site coordinators do a terrific job, the extent to which they are looking at all the details leading up to the day is limited.  Bernadette Smith of It's About Time Events talks about all the details that a day of wedding coordinator will handle for you in her Blog.   I have officiated at several weddings where the stress and tension of these details caused many a tear.  The day of your wedding should be joyous and as stress free as possible. If you are planning a wedding at a function hall, hotel, etc. I highly recommend considering a "day" of wedding coordinator to alleviate stress and worry and allow you to focus on enjoying your day!

This weekend I had the pleasure of blessing and welcoming a baby into the lives of a family.  As an officiant this is always an honor and joyous ceremony for me.  When we participate in a baby blessing and welcoming ceremony we connect with the excitement of possibilities; who will they become?, who will they love?, what will their gifts & talents be?, how will they contribute to the world?  In holding an innocent child, consciously speaking about our commitment to love, support and honor their unique path, we begin to create a foundation from which they will  grow into their own personhood.  This foundation requires that we remain conscious on a daily basis that in every action, thought and deed, we reflect back to our child their innate goodness and value in the world.  It is an awe-inspiring responsibility and one that transforms us to our very core.  For in our commitment to serve our children with open and loving hearts, we must heal our own lives.  In this way our children become one of our greatest teachers and healers.  Your comments are always welcome.

This week has been quite a roller coaster ride for me.  As an officiant who honors and celebrates life, I am rarely surprised by the range of joy and sorrow that arises as we companion each other; as friend, lover, parent, colleague, daughter or son and yes even beloved pet, along life's path. This weekend, among the joy of officiating at a wedding, and a baby blessing, I was also confronted by the death of a young person, just 25, whom I was to marry within a few months, a colleague's lost struggle with cancer and the words of many who had been touched by her life and death, and a dear friend whose beloved pet is dying.  The intensity of these experiences, on the those celebrating, honoring and grieving touched me to my very core, and my reaction to this was a bit surprising.  Surprising because within a few days, I personally felt the great heights of joy and great grieving for the unanswerable why's in life.  In staying with all my emotions, I became aware that I needed to find an anchor that would allow me to experience all that was arising.   I landed on the infinity symbol. This symbol reminds me of the unending nature of existence, the natural ebb and flow of life, and that if I can return to a still point within (the center of the infinity), I am able to fully experience the sweetness and grief while breathing into each moment.  Realizing that I gravitated toward an anchor, I became curious, what are the anchors people use to maintain balance, and live life to the fullest?  Please share your thoughts.

As a wedding officiant, couples often ask me the meaning behind the rituals they see.  A few days ago I had a question about the custom of the bride wearing something old, new, borrowed and blue.  Was this something that this particular person needed to focus on?  I explained the meaning of this ritual and she suggested that it should be posted on my blog, so I share it with you.  If you are considering following this tradition, according to Barbara Biziou in her book "the Joys of Everyday Rituals" here is what you might like to know:  something "old" honors the connection to one's ancestors, something "new"" honors the beginning of your relationship with your betrothed, something "borrowed" is your desire for fertility (in olden times, it was borrowed from the most fertile person in the village) and wearing something blue is the connection to the Goddess.  If you actually do a search on the internet, you will find other explanations!   Please let me know if you have any questions about other rituals.