I so love the work I do as a Wedding Officiant and Celebrant.   I am always learning and co-creating with my couples personalized and meaningful elements for their ceremonies.  A few years back I was fortunate to work with a couple who loved French history.  They wanted to include an old tradition which they referred to as a "French Ribbon Cutting" ceremony.  This ritual was new for me and with little information available about it we spent a great deal of time speaking about what they wished to accomplish...the feel, involvement of their community, and the significance of incorporating this in their wedding ceremony.    It was indeed a hit!

For me, it drove home the importance of really delving into the "why's" and "hows" for any ritual that is to be included into a wedding ceremony...including the rings!

Depending upon where, how and when you incorporate a ritual into your ceremony, also will help you to discern how to describe it within the context of the total ceremony. In general, with this particular ritual, the ribbons represent "obstacles" that exist in one's life.  The cutting away is symbolic of the capacity to either meet life's challenges together as a couple and/or cut away any obstacles that existed prior to coming together in a life partnership.

Over the past several years I have incorporated this ritual for other couples.  Greg & Aurelio (above) loved the thought of their community holding these ribbons as they began their life together as a married couple. They alternated who cut each ribbon and used this ritual during their recessional.   

While many people may see the same "ritual" in wedding ceremonies...what makes them special is the significance they have for you as individuals and as a couple.   If you love a specific ritual, I encourage you to "make-it-your own" in the words used to describe it's significance, in how members of the community or the entire community might be involved, and where in the ceremony flow it is incorporated.  Most importantly....have fun! 

Located just 15 miles west of Boston with easy accessibility from several major highways, sits a gem of a venue for your wedding.  While many may have experienced the grace and elegance of the deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, it is not often thought of as a possible wedding venue. 

As a member of the museum and as a Life Celebrant and Wedding Officiant, I have often found myself strolling through the outdoor sculpture park, or sitting in the sun, imagining how a wedding, baby blessing, or even a memorial service would feel in such a magnificent place. 






(photo
courtesy
of
Bryce
Vickmark
Photography)






Recently I had the pleasure of being a guest of an event hosted by the Boston Wedding Group at the deCordova and met some of the extraordinary staff. It didn't take long for me to learn that the deCordova was indeed available to the public for such events...so if you are looking for a lovely setting, surrounded by beautiful sculpture, art exhibits and incredible architecture visit the deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum...contact the staff and ask them to help you create your dream day!

When Carolyn, Gary and I  met with me to discuss their ceremony, they wanted something intimate, fun, meaningful participation of their community, and if possible to walk away with a remembrance of the love and intentions that were shared on their very special day.  

Their wedding was to be held at the lovely Crane Estate on the beach and as we played with different concepts for their ceremony,  I inquired into the actual "set-up", specifically did they envision any sort of aisle or seating arrangements.   Their thinking was they didn't think it possible considering there were few chairs (most everyone would be standing) and the wind by the ocean would be a factor.  My response as their wedding officiant was simply; "well let's explore how we might build an aisle, get everyone involved, and have a meaningful remembrance".

What we co-created from this discussion was a wonderful ritual in which their community brought rocks with wishes written on them to the ceremony.  At the beginning of the gathering, with Carolyn & Gary looking on, their community was invited to honor their marriage by creating the very aisle that they would be walking down. 

Never, did we imagined how powerful and engaging this would be. The thought and love that would go into designing the rocks and the immense amount of fun that was had by even the small ones was wondrous. 

So if you are thinking something can't be done...ask how it might be achieved.  My tip for you today is to really think through what it is you wish to create and then have fun doing it! 
(photos courtesy of Louise Michaud Photographer c  2011)

Each day of connection with a loved one is a rare gift.  As we grow and change, our connection with others also shifts.  W. Somerset Maugham once wrote, "We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. "

While I resonate with this, I think that there is more to be said:  It takes courage and willingness to work on ourselves to be open to loving another through all the changes of life.  Relationships are not static, and the gift of love is that we can embrace our own and another's change with courage, compassion and an open heart. 

When we find ourselves resisting our own or someone else's changing nature, it is an opportunity to look inward.  While not always easy,  the process is rich with personal growth and an increasing ability to create an ever deepening intimacy with yourself and your loved one. 

So today...just for a moment...celebrate your capacity to love and be loved in the changing moments of your life...honor the courage and conviction it takes to get up each morning and begin anew again!

Your wedding day is a mere 4 to 6 months away, and all the planning and details begin to pile on.  Anxiety builds and all of a sudden you realize the level of stress you feel as you try to ensure that everything comes together perfectly.  As a wedding officiant, this is often when I begin to hear from my couples how they wish they had eloped! 

So I am simply repeating here what I say to the people I work with and have offered in a previous blog...BREATHE!  All the wedding details and decisions from transportation, accommodations, flowers, cakes, seating charts, and the list goes on...can cause you to push into the background what this day is really about: A celebration and honoring of your love and willingness to enter into a commitment with your life partner.   

So here is the easiest and simplest of wedding planning tips: Get several sticky notes and on each one write the following:  This day is about celebrating and honoring our commitment to each other! Take a breath and smile!

Keep these on your desk, in your car, on your wedding notebook or file if you have one and even your bathroom mirror.  You can enjoy the planning of all the little details with a reduced level of stress if you simply remember that what people remember and speak about for the years to come is the specialness of the day...the ceremony, the fun they have and mostly the time they shared with you, their family and friends!  

As human beings we have a yearning to be seen and loved for who we are; in our vulnerability, in our magnificence and without any  pretense.  We look for that one person who allows us to live each day of our lives feeling full and complete.  Some of us are lucky and find our "soul-mate" or "best friend" at a young age...some of us go through several relationships and some are still searching. 

In my work as a Relationship Coach and Wedding Officiant, I have worked with couples who have entered into a lifetime commitment and then at some point down the road are questioning if they made the right choice.   Life is not always easy, and in the stressful and difficult times, we can often loose our way as we revert to old patterns and protective behaviors that may not support or nurture our relationships.  It is at these times like we need a clear path home to our hearts.  This is precisely why I encourage couples to create a partnership vision. 

Whether it is done through my workshop or in your own way, the power of this process, and the ability to evaluate, assess and resolve conflicting priorities and view points in a loving way, allows you and your partner to be in a compassionate, conscious and sacred relationship.  

Relationships require conscious intention, study and work...in fact they are an art.  Artisans study for many years as they hone their tools to create their masterpieces.  The visioning process offers an approach to cultivating a sacred relationship, while creating tools to work with as you move forward together in life.  We do this in a fun and interactive way, sharing our experiences, our learning's, our hopes and our dreams.  If you are interested in learning more, please call or e-mail or visit the workshop page and read what others have experienced.  The next workshop is Saturday, Feb. 26th. 
 

For the first time in the "The Knot's Best Pick Award" history, they have  added the Officiant and Celebrant category and it is with great joy and gratitude to all the couples I have worked with, that I am pleased to have received the Knot's  Best Pick of 2011 and The Editors Choice Award for the Boston Officiant and Celebrant category. 

This is an award that I share with all the couples who have valued the specialness of creating a relationship with me.  From this connection we have co-created meaningful, fun and unique wedding ceremonies that honor and celebrate the joy of marriage,  partnership and relationships with family and friends.  Thank you all for your trust, friendship and help in allowing me to do what I love!


Peace & blessings,
LisaAnn

Congratulations, you are getting married and planning one of the most important days of your life.  You have the date and the venue and you begin to look for someone to marry you and before you know it you are lost in trying to discern the differences of just who can marry you in Massachusetts!  So here it is in an easy to understand breakdown for you:

• Justice of the Peace: A JP is an appointed position through the Governors Counsel in Massachusetts for a period of 7 years and fees for services are regulated by the State.  Depending upon the JP you speak to and your wedding location they start with a regulated "flat fee" to this they can add additional fees for pre-marital interviews, planning sessions, rehearsals, travel and even customization of a ceremony, (i.e. there are JP's that actually may charge for the adding of a ritual).  By law they are required to put in writing all their fees that you will be assessed.  Usually (but not always) the ceremony is a standard civil ceremony which is then tailored to your specific information.  Some JP's are also members of the clergy.  If this is the case they may offer other services but be clear about the capacity in which they are solemnizing your wedding license.   If they are signing as a "JP" then their fees need to be reflective of this.
• Member's of the Clergy affiliated with a religious house of worship (temple, church, sanga mosque, etc.): Usually there is a recommended donation to the place of worship.  Ceremonies are designed to honor specific traditions, tenets and dogma.  They are more ritualized and adhere to a particular order of ceremony.  While there is definitely customization, the amount of this depends upon the individual clergy.
• Members of Clergy and Celebrants who are not affiliated with a specific house of worship:  Ministers, Non-denominational Ministers, Interfaith Ministers, Unitarian Universalist Ministers, Humanistic Ministers and Celebrants all fall into this category.  There are a wide array of services from a simple basic ceremony using a "template" to a fully customized ceremony in which each part of the ceremony is designed for you.  Each of us has our own style and willingness to spend time with you and allow you to be be part of the creative process.  Make sure you understand the process and willingness to work with you until the ceremony is what you want.   Fee's can generally range from $300 - $1200 and often reflect the time an officiant is willing to commit to the design process.  Read their testimonials and ask for references if no testimonials are available.  Again, make sure all agreements are in writing so you understand what the total cost will be.
• Anyone you designate:  A friend or family member who is of legal age can solemnize a wedding in Massachusetts as long as they apply for a 1 day designation.    If you decide to go this route...please read my blog entry, "Should a Friend or Family Member Officiate at your Wedding" from May 22, 2009

I hope this helps.  Now that you understand the differences you can intelligently put together questions that are important to you as you begin to search for your wedding officiant.  There are no wrong choices, the most important aspect is that you feel comfortable and connected with the person that will be marrying you.  If you haven't already done so feel free to read my article on selecting a wedding officiant.

 

As a full service Wedding Officiant I have had the opportunity to work with many DJ's, Photographer's, Musicians, Videographers and Coordinators.  I spend time up front touching base with all the vendors.  I send them an outline with cues for the musicians or dj's, an order of ceremony and speak to them prior to your ceremony in order to ensure that they are able to properly plan for their contribution to your wonderful day. 

I am becoming a stickler when it comes to working with photographers and videographers.  While I encourage them to do what's necessary to get the shots and recording they need, I do ask that they not become the center of attention and that they coordinate their efforts with each other.  Professional photographers and videographers usually confer with each other and are always grateful for the up front information I provide.  Unfortunately, there are some who pay less attention to this aspect of coordination (I have had an incident where a videographer actually tried to push me aside as I was signing a Ketubah, and a photographer who was standing where the Maid of Honor was suppose to be and I needed to actually ask her to move!) 

I was reminded of the importance of this when I received a wonderful video of a ceremony I officiated at.  As I watched it I saw the photographer moving about in the video and coming too close to the couple during a key and intimate part of the ceremony.   While the videographer did his best to use clear shots from the 2 stationary camera's he was working with, he was still unable to record in an unobstructed manner.  His video is of the highest and most professional quality and a lovely reflection of this particilar couples wedding day...but there is only so much any professional can do when a photographer is moving in too close. 

So please, if you are using a videographer and photographer take extra pains to make sure they work together and plan ahead for capturing the ceremony with unobstructed views and that neither of them are taking the focus away from you and the ceremony!

Since ancient times, the solstice has been honored and celebrated with great fanfare across all cultures and religions.  Today's solstice is particularly amazing, for not only does it officially usher in winter with a promise of retreat, renewal, solitude and the gradual opening to new possibilities, (each day from here on in gets a bit longer by 1 or 2 seconds!) today's solstice coincides with both a full moon and a total lunar eclipse which occurred in the wee hours of this morning! 

Whether you believe in the power of eclipses, the full moon or celebrate the Solstice...clearly we are experiencing an amazing moment...a trifecta that has not occured since 1638 nor will it occur again until 2094.  A total lunar eclipse occurs when the Earth blocks the sun's rays from the face of the moon. The moon is then fully in the shadow cast in space by the Earth. 

Beginning with a shadow cast on the shortest day of the year and culminating in a full and illuminated sky from the full moon, we are from a mystical perspective nestled in the yin/yang of our lives with a capacity to clearly see our shadow selves, illuminate our inner wisdom and shift into this season with new insights for our own personal growth and healing.

Enjoy the celebration!