Brian & Jess were married in April at the Warren Conference Center in Ashland, MA.  As their wedding officiant I was honored to work with them as we created a simple, fun and intimate ceremony that truly reflected who they were as a couple.  Both Jess and Brian love to laugh, and their ceremony, while serious when appropriate, was also filled with joy and warm-hearted smiles from all.  Congratulations Brian and Jess and thank-you for selecting me for such an important moment!
Photo courtesy of Steve Kimball Photography

So you are about to look for an officiant who will truly customize your ceremony.  You have your list of questions you are going to ask, and a list of several possible officiants to work with.  The real question is...how will you know if the person you work with will really customize your ceremony and will pay attention to the small details that ensure your ceremony runs smoothly?

While all the questions you may have written down give you answers, and you will have a "gut" feel, my recommendation as an officiant who works throughout Boston and Massachusetts and hears many many stories is...do your homework. 

Ask the person you are considering using if you can speak to a few couples they have worked with.  Ask those couples what they liked and what they would change about the process.  Did they feel that their ceremony was unique, meaningful and special.  Ask them if they had fun with their officiant in the process.   If your perspective officiant is not comfortable with providing real referrals other than the testimonials on their site, this might be a red flag. 

If in your initial meetings with an officiant, he/she does not discuss how they may work with other vendors...make sure you ask.  A good question might be...Do you, ahead of time, provide a ceremony outline to the musician, photographer, videographer, on-site coordinator and any other professionals you may be working with.  If the answer is not normally, it is a strong hint that the small details may be missed.  When checking with other couples verify that this actually was done for them.

The person you select to create a unique and meaningful wedding ceremony is one of the most important decisions you will make for your wedding day...do your homework and make sure the person you find to work with is the perfect choice for you.

 

I came across this quote this morning; I paused, closed my eyes, took a deep breath in and allowed the words to seep into my being...when I opened my eyes a few moments later, I realized I felt softer and lighter.  I am not sure what it was I let go of in that moment, but ever since I have been smiling and feeling as if life is easier.  In this, I am celebrating the very life, that while fragile, is also wonderful and blessed.  So I share it with you and offer up the possibility to be grateful and celebrate this moment and day!

As a wedding officiant who creates original and meaningful wedding ceremonies, part of my process is to send out an initial draft to the couples I work.  Usually this occurs about two months prior to the wedding date.   How many times I have heard...I am so glad this arrived when it did, it reminded us why we were doing this and what was really important! 

It is quite easy in the months and days leading up to your wedding to get caught up in the details and decisions about all sorts of things from transportation, accommodations, flowers, cakes, seating charts, and the list goes on...often pushing into the background what this day is really about. 

Your wedding day is a celebration and honoring of your love and willingness to enter into a commitment with your life partner.  Keeping the importance of this in the forefront of your mind will help you let go of any angst one might feel as the clock keeps ticking.

Enjoy the planning, enjoy all the little details, and if you find yourself a bit stressed, take a breath and remember...no-one will ultimately remember the color of your chair seats, or if the dresses match the napkins (in fact, many won't even notice that they do!).  While these details may be important to you, what people remember most is the ceremony and the fun of sharing this special time with you. 

One more hint...if you can fit it into your budget, hire a day of wedding coordinator!

My good friend Deb came across this cartoon while she was on her spiritual thirst for knowledge.  Deb and I are soul sisters and we are both quite serious about self discovery, healing, our spiritual paths and serving others. 

We share this commitment with many people.  At the heart of all of us is a desire to heal, be whole and help others.  This cartoon is a terrific reminder that we can also approach life with too much seriousness, loosing track of the the capacity to bring lightness into our lives. 

So I include it today with a gentle reminder to us all to "lighten-up" as life will unfold organically and naturally if we can let go of the "doing" and "needing to get somewhere" and engage in the "being".

Thanks Deb for this terrific reminder.  For anyone interested in Deb's writings or work as a healer, visit her site

Brooke & Domenic were married in Boston, in a ceremony that was simple, elegant, and fun-loving.  I had the privilege of working with them in creating a marriage vision, and in the process we developed a deep friendship and connection.

The wedding ceremony we created together incorporated their personal beliefs, goals and collective hopes and dreams.  It opened with an original blessing written for them, weaving their vision throughout the blessing and the cermeony.  Both their Dad's shared their wisdom on relationships and marriage, and there was joyful laughter and tears throughout.  Their ceremony concluded with a lovely water ritual. 

Congratulations Broke and Domenic, I look forward to  many years of being part of your lives!

"The Goal of life is to die young - as late as possible. "

I came across this provocative quote in my travels, and as a person in a specific age group than I do not care to reveal, I must admit I totally agree!  Chronologically we are all going to grow older...the alternative is not a welcome thought by most of us, so why not do so with grace, enjoyment and a mindset that the possibilities that lie ahead are abundant.

Okay, I confess, I am going to be 55 in a few months, but I don't feel "old" or even "middle age".  Rather I feel blessed and excited each day I wake that I am healthy, strong, in love and filled with wisdom from years of experience.   This experience only came with age, and  allows me to focus on what is truly important, while not getting caught up worrying about the small stuff.  I may have my difficult days, where I am a bit sad, or tired, but in general it is my mind and heart that propels me to live each day to the fullest. 

When I was in my teens and twenties, I didn't necessarily do this in a conscious way.  It takes self love and conscious intention to accept all of who we are in the moment, with our limitations and our talents.  It is merely our thoughts that prevent us from remaining young at heart no matter what our age is.  So today I offer the possibility, that wherever you are in life, you can always remain young at heart and like the sunflowers, be upright and happy!

Christine and Rita were married this past summer in a simple but meaningful wedding ceremony.  When we first spoke, there was a desire to incorporate much of the spiritual aspects of their beliefs and values from the Vedic/Yogic traditions utilizing the learning's from their teacher's lineage. 

As we carefully co-created their ceremony, we explored many possibilities.  Christine and Rita chose to incorporate a mudra practice, taken from their teacher's lineage.  The practice is a conscious process and series of positions and gestures, with meditation, that honor one's light and joins body, mind and soul in union.  This was a sacred and lovely ritual that prepared for the exchange of vows. 

This picture depicts the final mudra of a series that come's from Shiva-Lingam's mudra practice.  For those unfamiliar; "mudra" is a sanskrit word and means: a gesture, which focuses and directs energy in a yoga pose or meditation.  (photo courtesy of Martha Lazarus)

I am always amazed at how creative and beautiful wedding ceremonies can be when conscious intention and the fun of allowing yourself to be creative is brought to the design.  With each ceremony designed and officiated, my heart opens a bit more and the depth of my understanding grows.

I thank all of the people who have allowed me to work with them, it is a true blessing! Enjoy this lovely weekend!

Today is the vernal equinox, or as most of us may know it the first day of spring! Equinox actually means equal night, while vernal means fresh, new, pertaining to spring.  So it is no wonder that on this day we have an opportunity to bring both balance and possibility into our minds, hearts and actions.

Just as some of you took the opportunity to celebrate and honor the winter solstice, with a ritual of turning inward and contemplating what it was you wanted to bring forth, now is the time to consciously seed your garden and put your intention into the world for that which you wish to reap & sow. 

As a possible ritual to do this, consider the following:

Spend a few moments outside today, in silence asking yourself, what are the three things you would like to create, achieve and/or nurture this spring.

Once you have them, jot them down on 3 pieces of small paper or you can find larger stones that you can write them on in marker.

If you have access to plot of ground, or garden, find a place to either rest your stones or to lightly bury your paper (the intention would be to dig these up in summer as not to soil the earth).  You might also decide to use containers to place the papers inside of instead of putting them in the ground.

If you don't have access to an area outside, find a special container(s) to use and place them by a window.

Now once again in silence, think about the ways you can bring more balance into your life and repeat the same process as above. 

Once you have completed this, visit this area for 2 minutes each day.  I like to do the am and pm myself.   This will help you keep these thoughts conscious and alive.

Enjoy Spring!

As a relationship coach, I work with many people who wish to strengthen their relationships and live with greater awareness and intention as they strive to keep their relationship vibrant, fun and loving.   The common complaint I hear is, "This is great when we are working with you and have this focused time to explore our challenges.  We can hold onto what we learn here for a week, maybe even a bit longer, but our lives get complicated and after a while, we slip back to our old patterns.   How do we find the time and/or remember to keep this going?" 

This is a terrific inquiry, and while there are many tips and tricks you can incorporate, my answer usually focuses on some specific practices you can easily incorporate into your life.

• Speak a vow to each other at the beginning of each day:  this works particularly well when you wake in the morning if you can coordinate your schedules.  (see my blog entry: A Post-Wedding Vow)      
  
• At the end of each day acknowledge something you are grateful for with your loved one,  even if it has been a difficult day between you…it might be how grateful you are that you are able to work through things, or trust that you will come together again.
• Make a specific time to get together at least once a week…make this time sacred i.e a "date night" or a special time after the day is over that you chat without TV or other distraction. 
  
• Find a time to focus on the relationship separate from “date” night.  Monthly is usually reasonable, and weekly if you can fit it in is terrific!  Use this time to  either create a shared vision, or to explore relationship philosophy by read a book on relationships, or discussing how you can each listen better to one another. 
  
• Finally, remind yourself that you and your spouse, partner, friend, lover or family member, are human and will make mistakes.  The simple truth is that neither you or your loved one would do anything to intentionally cause pain.

Share your own thoughts so others can benefit!