My husband is an ordinary man who works each day, struggles with his own life issues, tries to be a good parent and husband and is dedicated to his Zen practice.  On a day to day basis, he may not do anything extraordinary but this should not be confused with how much he may be valued or how he has impacted someone's life-in this case mine. 

When I first met Jamie, as with all couples, we spoke about our dreams, hopes and wishes.  We encouraged each other to take steps along life's path that would allow each of us to live a more vibrant, loving and compassionate life.  And while for some couples, these conversations fade over time or get lost in the day to day living of life, Jamie has never underestimated my desire to learn, grow, be challenged, and to find work that allowed me to live from my passion. 

Over the past thirteen years, he has provided me with an extraordinary gift;  he has given me the space, emotional and financial support and encouragement to pursue my dreams and live my passion.  While the path has at times taken me away from him, or caused us to experience tension in our marriage; he has been steadfast in his belief of me, us and our life together.   All of which has allowed me to stand in the world unafraid to be the person that I truly am.  From this solid state of being, I am able to help others honor and celebrate their lives.   

For many of us, we live our lives within a daily structure we are familiar with and do not speak about the profound impact someone may have on our lives. The simple fact for me is that Jamie's generosity of spirit, heart and his faith in me has been anything but ordinary-and if truth be told, I can give him a run for his money! Thank you Jamie.  So take just one small moment tonight or tomorrow, and let someone know that their simple day to day support and love is not taken for granted.

Andrew and Emily (my niece) were married in an interfaith ceremony which combined Jewish and Taoist culture.  Held at Hakone Gardens in Saratoga, California, this lovely Japanese garden was the perfect spot.  They were married under a colorful and playful Chuppah (a tradition in Judaism) and began their ceremony by circling seven times. 
In the Jewish tradition, this circling has many interpretations, but for Andrew and Emily, the significance was tied to the mystical belief that each circle represented the removal of one of seven shells of solitude that encrust the soul.  Upon completion on the circling, the soul is open and ready to be surrounded by the light of their beloved and the creation of a seven fold bond. 

Throughout their ceremony their individual beliefs and shared vision was celebrated and honored with a lightness and joy that allowed for both laughter and tears. 

Their ceremony ended with both a lovely water ritual, honoring the Taoist philosophy of the changing nature of our lives and the unending energy of  life and the Jewish tradition of the breaking of the glass.  

Congratulations Emily and Andrew and may you have many years of happiness and health.  I love you both!

Generosity of heart manifests itself in many ways.  We can offer our help and support when it is called for; offer our time and money to support causes that matter to us; and quietly work in the background to provide support for those we do not even know.  While most of us readily offer our help to friends and family when it is needed (sometimes without being asked), or donate time or money to organizations that help others; we don't often think about helping strangers we do not know. 

Kyle (a pseudonym) did just this when learning about a family who was struggling to put together enough funds to move out of a relatives home and into an apartment. Their living situation was causing emotional conflict and began to seriously impact the emotional well being of the couples marriage and their daughter.  Hearing about this, Kyle approached a mutual friend who arranged through the church to provide an anonymous gift to this family.  Kyle received no recognition nor feedback on this generosity.  When asked, why would you do this and keep it anonymous? Kyle's response was "I had it, they didn't.  I knew if I put myself in their position, their pride might prevent them from accepting my gift, or they would feel beholding to me."   As it turns out, throughout Kyle's life, there have been several other times that this anonymous generosity has been offered.  Kyle lives an ordinary life, working each day and sending time with friends and family.  While not rich, Kyle continues to offer help while maintaining a low profile.  If this help is in the form of monetary support, where possible, Kyle remains anonymous. 

These small ordinary acts of generosity can have extraordinary impact on people's lives.  For the family who was the beneficiary of Kyle's funds, they were able to show financial stability by putting down a security deposit and first and last months rent on an apartment and quickly moved into their own home.  In the process, they were able to heal the past years difficulty and to move on with their lives.  They in turn when able, now reach out to help others.     Please share your stories of someone who impacted your life or how you impacted someone else's life.

Marta and Greg were married this summer at the Barn at Gibbett Hill.  When we first met, I knew I wanted to work with them.  They clearly loved each other and were focused on making their ceremony special and memorable.  As we began working together, I appreciated the care they took with each detail of the ceremony.  The questions they asked and their active role in co-creating the ceremony with me; and special and memorable it was!  Through careful selections of readings, music, the inclusion of a special stuffed animal used by the ring bearer to bring the rings down the aisle, personalized vows written by Greg and Marta, and a reflection written specifically for them; we all smiled, laughed, cried and honored their relationship, their family and friends and their life together. I feel honored to have been a part of their most important day.

Most of us live ordinary lives. We have jobs, maybe children, pets, friends, family and  hobbies that we love.  While we move through our lives experiencing a range of emotions and feelings; each day can feel and seem like a repeat of the day before or the day that will follow.  We can forget that each day is a gift and is filled with newness and excitement.  We have a choice of how we relate to each moment of our lives, opening to the potential that each moment, hour, and day is new, fresh and infused with energy and an aliveness and excitement that turns our days into a lovely adventure.

I am fortunate that I am reminded of this every day when I see my friend Bettina.  She is an accomplished woman with an MBA from a prestigious school and had a career as a successful management consultant.  She made a choice after her second child was born to remain at home for the next few years so she could be a full-time mom.  Each day that I spend time with her and her children (she is almost never without them for long!) I am aware of how she is fully available and present for them.  It's not that she engages with them in a calm and loving way; it is that as she is delighted by each moment she spends with them.  She is excited to see who they will be when they wake-up, what new things they will learn, and how they will interact with people and their environment.  She approaches each moment as if it were fresh and new, and when I walk into her home, there is an aliveness that is contagious.  There is nothing ordinary about her days, nor the impact she will have on her children as they learn this approach to each day.

Each of us has the possibility to approach every moment and the people we encounter with this same delight.  In doing so, the ordinary minutes, hours and days become infused with life, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary.  I would love to hear your stories, so please comment or write to me. 

As of next week this series will be posted on Thursdays as I introduce a new series of blogs.  Each Monday I will focus on a ceremony that I have had the fortune of co-creating with the participants and naturally officiating at the ceremony.  Please join me as we honor and celebrate our lives!

  

I have been traveling over the past 2 weeks quite a bit.  In general, most of the service people at the train station and airports, while courteous, made limited human contact, and kept a distance.  I watched at the airport as several people, frustrated and anxious, were treated with efficiency but little warmth.  So as I was waiting in line I became glued to one ticket agent; as I observed her customers laughing, smiling and visibly relieved after checking bags, changing seats and handling whatever business they needed.  Clearly she was offering something to her customers that others were not.  By this time, I had been waiting in line for 30 minutes, was tired and anxious and yes, expecting to be efficiently taken care of, but did not expect to have my mood altered by kindness.

I was fortunate to be this agent's next customer.  As I approached Mary, (the name tag revealed), gave me a big smile, looked me in the eye and asked me  "How are you today?" with the warmth of a dear friend.  In that moment, I could feel my body relax and knew that someone really cared about helping me.  As it turns out, Mary herself had been working for over 7 hours and when I thanked her warmth, compassion and heart connection, she beamed and told me that is what she was committed to doing every day.  She said "Life could be hard or sweet, and my job is to help people get to the sweetness, even in hard or stressful times."   In the 5 minutes she spent with me, my mood shifted, I began to smile, relax, look other people in the eye and pass on a bit of her kindness at the airport, as I instinctively began to help strangers who were fumbling with bags, needed a seat or where I simply met their eyes and smiled.

This ordinary everyday person, touches lives each day with a conscious intention that provides compassion, love and a possibility for others to be on the receiving end of kindness and grace.  Small acts of heart, ripple out into the world and make a difference that often goes unnoticed.    For those who are wondering I did send a large testimonial on her behalf to her boss!